24 August 2005

Khmer-American males are most sought

Traditional Cambodian wedding custumes worned during the wedding ceramony.

The marrying age of girls in Cambodia is between 18-23 years old. Well, let me rephrased. The normal marrying age of girls in Cambodia is between 18-23 years old. Part of the preliminary Khmer love-matching process is the girl's parents usually take the guy's birthdate, his astrological sign to the shaman or the fortune teller to see whether guy's sign will bring the prosperity if he's to married their daughter. But this is an exception if the guy happens to be a male Cambodian-American, then all is good. No need to consult a shaman or fortune teller.

The guy is the cream of the crop or the most sought after if he's a male Cambodian-American who want to marry a Cambodian girl from Cambodia. That is the qualification. Don't believe me ? Try to come to Cambodia and say you're "maor pi americ"--from America and single, and looking for a wife. The next thing happen, a lot of beautiful Khmer girls are lining up for you. Friends and relatives will take you from houses to houses that have the potential girls. Remember these girls they introduce to you will be between 18-23 years old.

Since more selections for the male Cambodian-American, most of them take away the most beautiful girl as his bride. This could be good and bad at the same time. Good for America because since all the beautiful Khmer women are going to their country, America will have beautiful genepool from the couples' offsprings. Bad for Cambodian guys which have no chance to compete against the male Cambodian-American from oversea. Bad for Cambodia because all of the pretty girls are leaving the country, which only left the not-so pretty ones.


p+k said...

Nice blog and articles! your blog is like a window to cambodia so keep it real and keep it up.

I've been wanting to post a comment since your blog were on yahoo but i couldn't but now i can.


Blogs By Khmer said...

Thanks, P&K. I'm glad people are reading my blog. I will try to post more often. Writing stuffs keep me going and also help to improving my English too. Writing a second language in English, I have to think every single words. But, your writing seem so natural. I wish I could write like you.

Yes, that was the reason I moved from Yahoo because people could not comment eventhough I chose my option as "Public". Yahoo restricted that you have to be Yahoo member. I sent 2 emails to their tech supports and never received any replys from them. I didn't like that so I moved to here.

Have a great weekend ! Phalkun, stay warm thourhg your winter.


p+k said...

Hehe what are you talking about? Your writting is more proper. Honestly, I like your writting coz it looks more mature and more like literature kind of thing. From your writting, i can see that you've read loads of books and other articles as well. I can say sometimes my writting's not too bad but most of the time it's bad because it's more like a dialog u know. It's so everyday english. There's no aesthtic in it at all.

Yeah, keep writting more. I'll visit more often.


Blogs By Khmer said...

When youre a natural writer it is loads better than me who alwasy think wheter its right or wrong.

thank you for your commpliment. Youre too kind.

Note: i'm learning a new word from you. "loads" means "alot" (Khmer: chreun)(I think).


p+k said...

Yeah, Loads = Plenty. but it's informal word. hehe. Make sure u have them checked with dictionary coz I might use them incorrectly sometimes. Heheh.

BattambangNative said...

Look, I better put a stop to this mutual-admiration society before it gets out of hand. You both write well. Whether you live in srok Khmer or the land of the long white clouds, you have done exceptionally well. Remember, English is second language for all of us Khmers. Admittedly learning it in an English-speaking environment helps quicken the learning process, but it was still hard all the same. As for Blogs by Khmer who learned it through books and newspapers etc, well I take my hat off to you. You write better than some people who have livd in Australia for a long time- Khmers and non-Khmers included. Good god, I sound like I want to be a third member of your society! All jokes aside, your artical on Cambodian-American males marrying Cambodian girls is very interesting, Blogs by Khmer. i know that it puts pressure on Khmer males in srok Khmer, but if I were you I would not stress about the gene pool thing. When you look at it, the majority of males from overseas who took a wife in srok khmer are not that great looking. So the beauty is balanced out. The males left in Cambodia would be OK (as they came from the same parents who produced the pretty looking girls) so even if their wife is not so good looking- the beauty is balanced out there too.

on the subject of matching the kids together, I guess you have a point about the lack of character checking with the foreign males. It seems that as long as you are from outside of Cambodia, everybody thinks you are a gem. As long as you can take their daughter out, you can do almost anything that you like her. it's that just scary? I don't really blame the parents though. Parents are there to provide safety to their children, and if someone claims that he can give that child safety, then the parents would naturally be happy with that. I blame the society, the leadership, that put the parents in that situation in the first place.

alee said...

Since you living in Cambodia, I don't understand why u saying this. By what i'm understanding is you are jealous of loosing pretty girl of our land. But hey! turn around and be positive, every girl are pretty depend on the diffinition of your prettiness.

To me all girls are unique they have their own beauty hidden somewhere i'm sure you been missing out seeing pretty girls there, that why you complaining.

Anonymous said...

Pitiness is not going to change your Cambodia/Kampuchia for any better. Reading of your writing I can see that you are full of bitterness, self-pity. And if all of the people in Cambodia are like you then Cambodia is in such a hopeless situation without a bright future indeed.

Blogs By Khmer said...

Hi anonymous.

In your short comment you have used four occurances of negative words: "bitterness", "self-pity", "hopeless", "without bright future".

Are you a somekind of pessimist ?

Thanks for dropping by. Lighten up will you ? :o)

Chanbopha said...

Some of my male friends who have persued their higher education abroad, usually complain about the overseas men come to take away one of their brides in the heart one by one till all gone! So they always, let's return home faster to apply earlier in order to marry the girls in their dreams! But don't be too worried about it since these days people are more cautious and smarter before allowing their girls to marry someone abroad because some of those who come from abroad to find a wife, possibly can be a looser!!!!

Blogs By Khmer said...

Thanks for your comment, chanbopha.

Like the post by Battambangnative said the gene pool of beauty will sort of balance out. I like this thinking.

I was a little harsh on my writing of the last sentence. Of course there are always beautiful Khmer girls.

I also agree with Alee each girl is "unique" in her own way.

Out there and somewhere she will be my Khmer Apsara.

Bavet-Svay Rieng

rez43 said...

I found the article very interesting, because I believe it to be very true coming from my perspective living in South Australia.

Blogs By Khmer said...

Thanks, Dan for visiting my blog. I would say Khmer-Australian men are equally as most sought after as Khmer-American. I would rank Australia the same as America. Families who are having beautiful daughters are yearning to have their daughters to marry 'khmer anikachun' -- 'Khmer oversea'. It's us Khmers men living in Cambodia are at the bottom of the list. Accept it. This is reality.

rez43 said...

I definitely agree with Chanbopa regarding those overseas men, some of them are losers. Essentially, Cambodia is like a last resort, you either have men who 'play' around alot with the caucasians or other races and then when they want a wife, then they go to Cambodia to pick the prettiest girl. They want a traditional wife who will cook clean and look after then. But, the wife may still have to work when overseas, because expenses are quite high. So for those girls who want to come here and their parents can afford to provide a 'gift' to the guy in exchange of marriage, be aware, you will not have servants, you will be expected to work very hard unless the guy is rich (from what I have heard, there are not too many of those in Australia, especially South Australia, do not believe any lies to the contrary).

Then there are men who are quite ugly/lazy/very old men, who know they can't get a Cambodian girl where they live so they go to Cambodia and pick one. Trust me, I have seen some awful pairings, especially in relation to the age differences.
I definitely empathize with Blogs by Khmer regarding Cambodia's loss.

However, let's not restrict it to men here, I know of women cases as well; some with children, some divorced; and even some in the business of it, in terms of some wanting payment of some kind for their 'help' in bringing Cambodian men forward.

I do not know whether this applies elsewhere in the world, but, majority of the cases here, there is always a substancial dowry involved, mostly paid on the part of the family who lives in Cambodia (regardless of the gender; I know that tradition says that the man's family gives the dowry to the bride's family). I can't help but feel annoyed that some Australian Cambodians are exploiting Cambodians in this way, knowing that the Cambodians will do anything to send their child forward. I have even heard of a case where a family borrowed a loan to provide a dowry to the Australian bride's family. When their son came to Australia, he worked quite hard (farm labour) until the debt back home was paid.

I welcome anybody's else viewpoint on this as well.

Kind regards, Dan